o-lord-prah

So I'm flipping through the television to find CSI: Miami and my favorite, David Caruso, and I happened to pause for about 30 seconds on Oprah.

I don't watch Oprah. While I think she has done some great and meaningful segments on her show over the years, I don't really relate to most of her demographic and I don't need her to tell me what to wear, eat, or read, because I can forage for those tidbits on my own. Being a rower and all, I also know what a healthy shit looks like, so I'm covered there as well.

As I paused however, there was a woman on a tv screen on Skype (about which I know very little), talking about how she "tried to lose the weight by eating right" and she "started to do the exercise" and then she "just didn't".

She just didn't.

Her next quote was about how she is a "real person".....you know, a "real mom, with kids and responsibilities" and she just can't seem to carve it out of her day to eat right or work out, because she doesn't have time to cook like that or exercise.

Load of shit much? Uh, yeah.

There is a huge gap, and therefore a lot of room for play, between the mother of 4 who is an Ironman finisher at 38 and manages a 3 hour workout six days a week, while managing a 50 hour work week, and the woman who feeds herself and her family healthful foods and squeezes in a 30-60 minute workout for health and sanity 4-5 days a week.

There is no real discernible difference between "I never lost the baby weight" and "I'm a lazy sack, who makes tons of excuses," outside of a serious, diagnosed medical issue, and even those include treatment programs that generally encourage strict diet guidelines. So going on Oprah on your web cam and talking about how you are a "real person" is nothing more than a line of crap.

Did she ever realize that in the time she sat, parked on her ass watching Oprah, she could have completed a sufficient workout AND packaged a weeks worth of healthy food and snacks for herself and her family to eat at home, work or school? But then she would have had to miss Oprah?! Quelle dommage!

Oprah sat interested on her little, yellow couch, doing her interested look with her head cocked, interestedly to the side and her hand on her chin. I wished with all my being, that her next comment had been:

"So what I'm hearing you say, is that you are actually not looking to actually do anything healthful to change your bodyweight and longevity, and that you are, in fact, enjoying sitting around bitching about being overweight and unfit."

The "real person" would then have been shocked and horrified and Oprah's viewership would have dropped by about sixty percent, because all of the other "real people" contributing to our country's abominable obesity figures would then have no one to complain to or relate to, and would shun her as smug and un-understanding, like all the other skinny bitches with lightning fast metabolisms.

But she didn't say that, and she didn't say anything that even hinted to that effect either, so the plight of the mother who can't seem to haul her ass out for a brisk walk or do push ups, lunges and a little body circuit before she showers (assuming that there really is NO time in the day to rearrange the urgent viewing the boob tube), will continue to be a mystery that only a miracle pill and a few thousand dollars a year can seemingly fix.

These "real people" will continue to blame their genes and the rest of the universe for the fact that they are full of shit (literally and figuratively) and will never bother to break a sweat for any real or helpful amount of time, because it's too much of a pain in the ass to take care of themselves, and it's so much easier to blame the world and pop ephedra.

Sometimes, I really loathe my gender.