later pontificator

I am lucky enough to have a friend of many, many years, who is just as wierd and existential as me. Although there are sometimes relatively long silences in our correspondence, and although we have flip flopped coasts in such a convenient manner that we are never less than 3000 miles apart, I have an unending appreciation for my friend's thought process and sense of humor.

An excerpt.


E: Do you have more questions or have you discovered more answers as to the meaning of this whole thing? As to what extent are we supposed to toil around in the muck of this bizarre thing called life? I can't even get any semblance of clues...all I do know, or seem to notice, is that there seems to be this path that I have no control over...that when I throw caution to the wind and do things I know I shouldn't be or when I do things that I merely do for the sake of shaking up the continuum, after a while, no matter short or long, I stop, glance around, and, alas, I'm back on the path. It's very David Byrne "How did I get here?" All in all, through it all, it instills a mild fear and unpredictable doubt to the point I question my invincibility...and, yes, that may come out egotistical and/or obnoxious, but it goes back to the path...no matter what I say or how I interpret these boorish observations. It's almost, dare I say, quite boring. I shrug my shoulders.
Hope you are well superstar!


Me: On the one hand, I feel like it's a waste of time to analyze the path, because it is there and we seem to be on it, whether we want to be or not. On the other hand, I feel the need to bruise my grey matter, banging its casing against the proverbial wall, wanting to will it to break down, stop closing me in, and just let me be. I lose either way, it seems, and I am finding myself getting to the point of just truly letting go, in some cheesy zen-like surrender to the universe. Maybe the abandonment of everything is the true road, we could get away with anything that way.....
I don't think I know what I'm talking about.