trifecta

I knew it would happen! In the last week there has been an earthquake and a hurricane. I said jokingly, that next would be pestilence and I was right.

At 11:21pm I received a message (as did the rest of my company) from the head of HR letting us know that the floor underneath ours has 'tested positive' for bed bugs. They say it was just a small and contained area, but let's be honest. It's a trading desk and they are free to roam. No one is safe.

Bed bugs.

The teeny tiny little honey colored gnawing pests of doom. That bite and bite and multiply like rabbits so they can bite and breed some more, all over any surface you own that has some semblance of fabric on it.

O lordy what a mess that could be. I'd hate to be the person whose desk had to be quarantined and sniffed out by Roscoe the bed bugs beagle. I'd hate to have to be relocated to another part of the floor or home, because that's like instant-outcast status. Who wants to sit next to the kid with the cooties? And what if the bed bugs went home with you? Or worse yet, what if they came IN with you? That means that no one around your area would be safe, because those little fuckers would be hitching rides all over the city.

I won't even walk on the same side of the street as a discarded mattress or sofa. No way. Last Christmas there were a couple of movie theaters that got infested. I still won't go in them, despite emphatic reassurances that they are clean and pest-free. So should any part of my floor test positive, you can bet I will be the first one to claim some sort of emotional distress and get the hell out of here. And worse, if I find out who the carrier for these little ass-biters is, I will most likely be forced to look at him or her in a different way. Sympathetic to their plight for sure, but kind of....well....ew.

But the good news is, since things come in threes, we should be good to just chill for a while....maybe.....