shine

-->I need some new powder for my nose. I hate when my face looks shiny in photos. For a long time I sort of inconspicuously avoided taking photos, but I’m out of that phase now, so it’s something I notice. I was thinking about this as I answered the phone.

 

When I talk on the phone, I leave my apartment because I don’t want my roommates in my business. I take my calls outside and either walk around my neighborhood or sit on the steps in the front. I noticed last night that the hot dude that lives in the building across from mine must come home around this time, because this is the third time I’ve seen him. I’m like a guy in that way, I guess. I notice attractive men and I look.

 

I talked with a longtime friend of mine last night. At one time, we were very close and then as happens, we drifted apart, only to be put randomly back in touch about a month ago. This was our second conversation and we started to get into some slightly deeper things and I remembered why I was good friends with her in the first place. Just a cool chick.

 

So at one point we were talking about the big challenges we both have ahead and she said

“…but I think all of that is good stuff! You seem to have a lot to think about, but it seems like it will be good either way, you know?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I’m not upset at all that these are the decisions I have to make right now. You know when you’re in the middle of something sucky and you know it’s sucky, but you find a way to have some good moments anyway? And then there’s just one change and it’s like the wheels turn and you realize exactly how fucking sucky things really were?” “I’m there and my motivation is high, so it’s all good stuff now.”

“Holy shit, dude.” There was a pregnant pause at the end and I started to wonder if maybe the call was dropped.

“Holy shit, what?”

 

“I know exactly….I mean exactly what you’re talking about. You ever wonder how you made it through all of that?"

"Nah," I said. "You do what you have to do and although I maybe would have listened to myself a lot earlier, it was time to go, so I went."

"Like Eddie."

"Yeah, Eddie would go."