biting

I was awakened at 3:09 this morning.

Not from a fire truck, police siren, drunk people screaming or loud neighbors. No, I was awake because I had nine bites (that I counted) and was itching so badly in my sleep that it jarred me awake. I left the window open when I fell asleep, because I hate the air that comes out of the a/c, and they seized the opportunity to pounce. I feel like they must hover outside the window waiting to see an infrared glimpse of me, lighting up their world like I'm on fire. O how they must lick their chops and dance with excitement as I drift to sleep, knowing they can all file in and take turns picking off veins. Horrifying.

I am what is known as 'bug candy'. If we are camping, the safest spot for you is next to me, because all of the mosquitoes and biting bugs will pass you by, because I am there. It's been this way my entire life. I played soccer for twelve years. Twelve years of running through grass at dusk, my legs screaming "dinner!!" at all biting insects in the area. It has never waned and I have employed every wives tale and bug repellent tactic known to man.

I think it's time to provide a little education as to why this happens. It's fascinating, really, and does give credence to my dad's theory that I just have sweet blood. Should I ever travel to Africa or South East Asia, you can bet that I will deal with the anti-malaria sickness and employ my "dork fan" (as my friend calls it) - which is a magical fan made by Off - so I can survive. Bite or be bitten.

In addition to the educational link provided, to avoid getting bug bites, or reduce the number at least, here are some wives tale-y tips:

1. Do not eat bananas during bug biting season. Something in the way they metabolize attracts the bugs like a neon light. Theoretically, anyway.

2. Carry a dryer sheet in your pocket. No real evidence that this actually works, but what can it hurt? Worst case scenario is you smell extremely Downy fresh.

3. Eat garlic. I think this is just a general rule for repelling anything.

Best of luck, friends.