change

Here's something I'm curious about: hot-heads and their propensity to "speak their mind".

The pretext for this is that I was standing in a line for a good or service - as I often do - when the two people in front of me seemed to have some misgivings about one another. Actually, the person directly in front of me had a problem with the person in front of him, who happened to be paying at the register at the time.

Now the person paying was fumbling for change, so that the correct amount of cash would be presented for his purchase. As we all know, dealing in cash takes a fraction longer than paying by card most times. It's the world we live in people, accept it already. But he hadn't really taken that long, actually. Not even worthy of a heavy sigh, by my estimation, but then again, I'm not a psychotic hot-head. The person in front of me did not agree. He shuffled from one foot to the other, tapping his hand on his leg and it was like I was watching the mercury rise all the way up to his eyebrows in twenty five seconds or less. As there was only one point of sale location, there was no way out for dude and as the cashier was accepting the change and generating the receipt, dude had finally hit his breaking point. His breaking point took about thirty total seconds to reach, by the way, which is practically an eternity as we all know.

"What the FUCK?!" he whisper-yelled. "Whaaat the fuuuuuuck?!"

With that he charged up on the register before the receipt was even handed over and told the other customer to get the hell out and move along. The first customer stared at him blankly in disbelief, as did everyone else in the establishment. Dude was right up on the guy and the cashier started to look worried, as did I, because I knew if these dudes went to blows, it was going to be me to break it up in my dress and heels. The first customer told dude to cool off, gave him a dirty look, and went on his way like a normal person. Dude however, continued to bitch that his time and space were being egregiously violated. Then, startlingly, dude turned around and announced to me and the other patrons that he had to speak his mind because people like that ruin New York. I rolled my eyes....heard this line before.

People like that ruin New York?

No sir, it's fucking wacko hot-heads like you that ruin New York and everything, for that matter. People who just have to find something wrong and just have to flex their fat and just have to yell and make a spectacle, because you are so full of toxic sludge on the inside that you feel justified in acting like a completely insane douchebag, making everyone around you uncomfortable just so you can "speak your mind". How about shut the fuck up? No one wants to hear you rant about the lack of speed at check out, violations of your personal space, or why people don't trot along faster on the sidewalk, as if those offenses are somehow directed at you.

It's a big city; deal with it. People are everywhere, there are trash bags on the sidewalk, the cabbies drive like shit and tourists will stop and gawk and delay you every chance they get. You can't deal with it? Move.

Actually my greatest idea in a while is to take all of these people that embarrass those around them (and yes, the people around them are embarrassed - I used to be one of those embarrassed people) and move them all to a remote location somewhere in Missouri or Wyoming where they can build their own town of half-cocked assholes and go richter on each other any time they want. And the other stack blowers won't mind, because it will be their turn to erupt soon, too. That way, all of the rational people who don't love yelling so much can move on with our reasonably patient and drama-free lives. I'm going to make suggestion cards and start handing them out just to plant the seed that the high strung should hit the road. If you get one....try your shit on me. I dare you - because we all know that the ones with the longest fuses are the most dangerous to cross, in the end.