the goose egg

The goose egg is a zero. No matter what industry, sport or past time you choose, everyone knows and fears the goose egg. In a world of number - read success - filled columns, the goose egg is like a neon sign, signaling failure and imminent doom. I have lived my life by competing against forces both known and unknown to beat and bury the goose egg.

That huge zero; a void threatening to suck you in and swallow you whole. Beat the zero and everyone else, while you're at it. I'm making some interesting changes in the last few years and I'm finding that the zero has been chasing me for way too long and it's time to live life outside of the fear of zero. It's quite a strange sensation to even want to do that. When since - ever, have I not done something that is an all or nothing performance job or sport? I thrive in that situation. And the individual competitor in me has been fighting that for 30 years (I give myself at least a few happy ones somewhere).

So lately I've grappled with the idea of just being extremely solid and maybe not trying to be the best in the world at everything anymore. Maybe I'm just super solid and reliable and hard-working. I've spent enough time trying to be greater than zero and I think maybe I feel like trying to just be the best me for a while. I have to say, I'm a little uncomfortable with it so far, but you know, finding my flaws and identifying them hasn't been the worst thing I've every gone through, so fuck it.

Because what would it be like if work was just work and my sport was still a huge part of my life, but it was just a sport? Something to enhance my life in a purely positive way, not to constantly beat my head on. What if I actually just started to make plans for other things? Such a strange notion, to want to just chill for a bit. I guess this is the focusing of my inner go-getter. Perhaps I'm going through an efficiency phase or something. Restructured a good portion of my life, so now comes the part where I apply all the lessons I have learned over the last 18 months so that this year goes the way it's supposed to....awwwwl up.

No more fear of the goose egg. The goose egg is being dropped on a pit of stakes and left to haunt the house of some preppy family in Connecticut. I'm only thinkin' up now.