the cloak

I have a cloak of invisibility. Trouble is, I can't put it on when in large crowds or embarrassing situations. It only disappears me when I'm happily empassioned and in a conversation (or so I think) with certain people on this coast.

Then the big drop-off of silence comes and I realize early in, that I have not only lost my particular audience, but that I have somehow transformed into the Six-Foot-Super-Disappearing-Girl. Upon finishing my sentence, I am met with the awkward silence that only one searching desperately for a shred of the newly previous conversation can seep out. Sometimes, I don't even get to finishing a whole sentence, before the abyss comes.

You know, the kind of silence that says "I really don't give a shit what you have to say on the subject, so I'm just going to ignore you and show you that your ideas and opinions are of far lesser import than my own." "It's worth it to me to just make something up and hope you'll ignore how rude this is."

But I can't ignore it, because it makes me feel like shit and generally when things make me feel like shit, I try to find a way to make them stop making me feel that way either by removing the behavior or myself. Do people around these parts really feel so entitled and superior that it doesn't even occur to them what their actions are saying? Forget the words; talk is cheap. It's the action of the cutting off, the statement that is made over and over and over when conversation dies or never even gets to begin because one person has suddenly zoned in on an urgent need for a chicken salad, or a text from Vito or a phonecall that could have been made hours before or minutes after, that words surely become powerless to erase.

Is this a New York thing? What is this irritating phenomenon and what the fuck do I have to do to end it? My favorite part is the outright denial of selfish conversing and subsequent anger at the suggestion of it (meanwhile, I've been cut off and remanded to listener for a good while) or the sincere apology and momentary acknowledgement, followed by an abrupt interruption about, say....one of the aforementioned subjects.

I need the insider tips, east coast people; what the fuck does one do to not experience that? And what's more, what is the secret to making it stop once it has started? Inquiring minds must know, because this situation has got to be dunzo.