don't sit

I ride the subway every day, at least twice. I have the same route to work everyday, and generally the same route home. Occasionally, as is quite rare, I even see the same people on the train. I am one of millions who go through their routines day in and day out and just want to get from a to b in peace.

So then, what the hell is with people and being utter assholes on public transportation? It's just egregious and unacceptable how people seem to abandon all sense of manners and decency when riding the subway, bus, train, plane or any other form of transport. Ask any one person on any given day of any given week, month or year and he or she can provide at least a handful of unsavory experiences that happened either directly to them or in the immediate vicinity.

A story.

So there I was, sleepy and quiet, making my way onto a rush hour train the other day. I had my swim bag with me, which sticks out a bit in the back, but is not very wide. A rule of thumb, to which I strictly adhere is to never let my bag jut out or even touch another person, if I can help it. Therefore, when I went to sit in the center seat between two non-obese passengers, I had already taken my bag off and held it closely in front of me, so that nary a strap or piece of burlap was outside the lines of my person.

Normally, I would not even bother to sit if there weren't 2 open seats in a row, so I would be unencumbered by the being of another person, invading my space. But with the handicap of the boot and my plagued metatarsal, at this point in time, I prefer to sit. I sort of have no choice, if I ever want to shed this clumpy foot casing.

Having found the only open seat, I lowered myself into it carefully, using one hand to hold the bar over my head, so as not to come crashing down, due to the uh.....lack of delicacy, my fashionable plastic boot affords. And sit I did. Not touching either of my seatmates, and ready to enjoy my ride - as much as can be done when riding the silver worm. I had just settled in, when out of the corner of my eye, I noted the man to my right shaking his head and mumbling in scorn. I let it go.

Then the next stop came and he continued; looking in my direction, mumbling, shaking his head vigorously and then repeating. It started to get irritating, so I took him in. He was dressed in all white, albeit in different shades, with no one piece of clothing the same actual color of any other. He had pasty skin and had not shaved that morning, the black pepper of his scruff piercing his pallid face abrasively. He had a book, and I remember wishing he would just stick his nose in it and shut the fuck up, but I was not to be so lucky.

As he continued on his muted tirade, I became annoyed, because he distracted me from simply sitting there reading or doing nothing, which is my greatest wish every morning. After a long enough time and several more bouts of head shaking and audible dissatisfaction, I turned and asked him.

"Is there a problem?"

He continued to mumble inaudibly, though more angrily and shifted his eyes downward as he carried on.

"Look," I said "if you're going to bitch at me, at least face me."

"If you can't fit, you don't sit." He said. Clever. I'll think of that next time it's actually applicable.

"I am not touching any part of you, nor is my bag."

"If you can't fit, you don't sit!" He repeated more emphatically, causing me to take a second guess about his mental wherewithal. He continued to mumble.

"All right," I said. "This is ridiculous. I am not touching you and I just want to get to work, so zip it. " And yes, I did say zip it.

He looked at me threateningly so I continued.

"I have a broken foot and can't stand the entire way. If you felt there would not be enough room for us both, you could have been a gentleman and given up your seat, but I didn't see you do that, now did I."

That shut him up. Assholes.