me and a group of "designers" are with heide klum and tim gunn at the whitehouse and we aresupposed to bring our whole wardrobe and htehn have a certain amount of money to go out nad fin dfurniture, etc to decorate a hoel room. so we go though the whole shopping phase and have limited choices and then all of a sudden, Jimmy Carter shows up nad he is the person with whom we are supsed to leave everything. we then do not get to decorate or style any of hte rooms, because that is former president carter/s job, so we then have to pick out a few items of clothinng to take hhome with us and jimmu carter will keep the rest. so tim gunn is now for some reason driving me home frmom all of this adn pulls up in a car at the beach, where all of my stuff is sitting. there are also two older ladies that i cant reember completely and someone in the shower. the old ladies go on and on about how stupid everyone is and they then tell me what things i absolutely cannot take home with me. tim gunn gets mad and says that all is retarded, so he decides to crack the bottle of wine that wi bought and se sit in chairs on teh beach drinking wine until it is tme to go, and then as we are driving away, we have to leave form het edge of a very long all adn pepople keep just standing nin the way of the car, including heide lum, and i call all of them idiots. then i wake up thinking i'm late for work, realized that it's saturday and now i'm going back to bed!
i have written all of this with my eyes closed and pretty much in my sleep, so i will edit it and make it all pretty when i wake up for real.
25 October, 2008
24 October, 2008
sleep!
I slept last night everyone!
I had a couple of phone conversations, brushed my teeth, and then I slept like a baby and it was glorious. I woke up this morning refreshed and a little confused, after having had a couple of bizarre dreams, one good and one terrible.
The good one was last though, so it left me in a happy mood this morning, thinking of sunshine and palm trees and birds and Snow White riding on the back of a llama with a sign that said "I heart Glenda the good witch".
Now I will ride triumphantly into the weekend where I will hopefully achieve a hat trick of good sleep nights and roll into the next week feeling like the champ that I am.
Yay slumber.
I had a couple of phone conversations, brushed my teeth, and then I slept like a baby and it was glorious. I woke up this morning refreshed and a little confused, after having had a couple of bizarre dreams, one good and one terrible.
The good one was last though, so it left me in a happy mood this morning, thinking of sunshine and palm trees and birds and Snow White riding on the back of a llama with a sign that said "I heart Glenda the good witch".
Now I will ride triumphantly into the weekend where I will hopefully achieve a hat trick of good sleep nights and roll into the next week feeling like the champ that I am.
Yay slumber.
22 October, 2008
elevated
I work in a nice building, in the financial district. It's a very nice building with a sick view, actually. They have put some thought into this building and into making it convenient for the occupants.
For example, the building is divided so that if you are on the first 22 floors, you take one set of elevator banks and if you are on the top 22 floors, you take another. This, presumably, is to keep everyone from wasting time getting to their office, and having to stop at 15 unnecessary floors along the way. Additionally, within each elevator bank, there are six, yes six elevators waiting to whisk tenants to their desks.
So why the fuck does everyone have to crowd into the same damn elevator every morning? This just makes me nuts. It's going to happen tomorrow morning, I know it. I know it because it happened this morning, and yesterday morning, and Friday morning, and so on.
Why is it that people feel that they have to run, flailing through the lobby, hurling themselves into the two inch crack in the closing door, and cram themselves in with one another, thus stalling the process for the occupants already in and ready to begin their ascent? Why is it that these idiots would rather force a few more stops on everyone, than wait the twenty or so seconds until another set of doors opens to reveal the cavernous expanse of a new, fresh, empty car? Why?
You already know my answer to that question, but I think the most baffling thing is that these are not inherently stupid people we are talking about here. I mean, they do exist in my building, but by and large, to lease a chunk of this real estate, your company has to be well funded and legit, thereby leading one to believe that to work for a well funded and legit company, each person must also be much higher on the legitimacy scale than say, the people waiting for the City Sights tour out on the corner on Whitehall St.
Also curious is why this makes my blood boil at such a tender hour of the day, but stupidity generally does that to me, no matter what the hour. One day though, my patience is going to run out and I'm going to be forced to demand an answer to this question. The only thing keeping me from doing it now, is that I already know the quizzical and vacant look I will receive in return.
See, what I know about stupidity is this; it doesn't even know it's stupid. It thinks it is in a hurry, or important, or logical and therefore won't get the joke or the irritation when called out.
And so I continue to seethe.
For example, the building is divided so that if you are on the first 22 floors, you take one set of elevator banks and if you are on the top 22 floors, you take another. This, presumably, is to keep everyone from wasting time getting to their office, and having to stop at 15 unnecessary floors along the way. Additionally, within each elevator bank, there are six, yes six elevators waiting to whisk tenants to their desks.
So why the fuck does everyone have to crowd into the same damn elevator every morning? This just makes me nuts. It's going to happen tomorrow morning, I know it. I know it because it happened this morning, and yesterday morning, and Friday morning, and so on.
Why is it that people feel that they have to run, flailing through the lobby, hurling themselves into the two inch crack in the closing door, and cram themselves in with one another, thus stalling the process for the occupants already in and ready to begin their ascent? Why is it that these idiots would rather force a few more stops on everyone, than wait the twenty or so seconds until another set of doors opens to reveal the cavernous expanse of a new, fresh, empty car? Why?
You already know my answer to that question, but I think the most baffling thing is that these are not inherently stupid people we are talking about here. I mean, they do exist in my building, but by and large, to lease a chunk of this real estate, your company has to be well funded and legit, thereby leading one to believe that to work for a well funded and legit company, each person must also be much higher on the legitimacy scale than say, the people waiting for the City Sights tour out on the corner on Whitehall St.
Also curious is why this makes my blood boil at such a tender hour of the day, but stupidity generally does that to me, no matter what the hour. One day though, my patience is going to run out and I'm going to be forced to demand an answer to this question. The only thing keeping me from doing it now, is that I already know the quizzical and vacant look I will receive in return.
See, what I know about stupidity is this; it doesn't even know it's stupid. It thinks it is in a hurry, or important, or logical and therefore won't get the joke or the irritation when called out.
And so I continue to seethe.
20 October, 2008
protest ronin
Just give them the sign and they will dutifully rant about anything!.....
I have a problem with the media being constantly labeled "the liberal media". It's just annoying and it's untrue. But whenever a news program, talk show or blithering idiot with a picket sign, says anything that borders on fringe talk, it or they are blasted as liberal. I hate to tell you people, but crazy is not confined to liberal folk. Crazy comes in both red and blue. Crazy is crazy.
I also take offense to the idea that having any sort of liberal tendencies is somehow a bad thing. Guess what? I happen to think that social programs are good. I think that poverty is something in which many people become stuck; people who show up to their low-paying jobs on time and work hard. People who either are born into poverty or come to our country seeking a better life for their families (which you will recall is the foundation of our country), who become stuck in the cycle of not having enough education to move up in society, living in places where you or I would never even drive through, having their children exposed to things from which they can't possibly protect them enough and having days, weeks, months and years pass, giving up slowly on accomplishing the goal of a new standing in life.
I also think that someone has to pay for these things, which is why we have taxes. Unlike some of the more conservative folk I know, I do not think that making promises and then plunging our country into insurmountable debt is a good idea. I think that the system as we know it is arcane and needs a major update to bring it into modern times. I do not however, think that offering large companies tax breaks is the way to go.
I would be remiss not to note that there are those, and they are many, who say they want something better, but don't actually want to have to do anything to get it. Liberals did not create those people and those are not the targets of social programs and favors. No matter who is running what, those people will stay there because they are comfortable and they don't care. That, however, does not mean that we should throw away the bushel for a few bad apples.
This however, leads into my greater point about the fray, who for some reason are always labeled liberal, but who come in equal parts on both sides and are just ridiculous, universally. Perhaps we could just call them all "emotional" and steer clear of the erroneous label.
These are the protesters that you see out near the bull in the financial district - calling for the imprisonment of any and all governmental officials; the ones you see in front of planned parenthood with pictures of aborted fetuses, snarling and shouting bible scripture as you walk in to pick up your free birth control, or to get a woman's annual exam (a fantastic benefit of the social programs for those without medical insurance).
Those folks abound in New York and when I walk past them in the middle of the day, on my way back into the office, where I have a job and work for 10 hours a day, I wonder to myself what the hell these people do for a living. Is there some sort of protester-for-hire day labor site, where you can drive by and hire a lunatic to rant about your cause? I can see the signs now....
"Are you pissed as hell, but lack the balls to tell others? Do you have an axe to grind AND a job? Well worry no more, friends. Protesters for hire will do your bitching for you; in tye-dye no less! Only $29.95 and a bag of reefer for a half day (protest materials included)."
I do wonder however, if these idea-mercenaries would be able to really embrace the idea; after all, it does smack of capitalism and salesmanship. Since I don't have the time or chutzpah to put this idea into practice, I rely on you, loyal readership. If you will just spread the word to the incensed, downtrodden and wronged, we can get this off the ground and have some go-to people when the inevitable crisis arises.
I have a problem with the media being constantly labeled "the liberal media". It's just annoying and it's untrue. But whenever a news program, talk show or blithering idiot with a picket sign, says anything that borders on fringe talk, it or they are blasted as liberal. I hate to tell you people, but crazy is not confined to liberal folk. Crazy comes in both red and blue. Crazy is crazy.
I also take offense to the idea that having any sort of liberal tendencies is somehow a bad thing. Guess what? I happen to think that social programs are good. I think that poverty is something in which many people become stuck; people who show up to their low-paying jobs on time and work hard. People who either are born into poverty or come to our country seeking a better life for their families (which you will recall is the foundation of our country), who become stuck in the cycle of not having enough education to move up in society, living in places where you or I would never even drive through, having their children exposed to things from which they can't possibly protect them enough and having days, weeks, months and years pass, giving up slowly on accomplishing the goal of a new standing in life.
I also think that someone has to pay for these things, which is why we have taxes. Unlike some of the more conservative folk I know, I do not think that making promises and then plunging our country into insurmountable debt is a good idea. I think that the system as we know it is arcane and needs a major update to bring it into modern times. I do not however, think that offering large companies tax breaks is the way to go.
I would be remiss not to note that there are those, and they are many, who say they want something better, but don't actually want to have to do anything to get it. Liberals did not create those people and those are not the targets of social programs and favors. No matter who is running what, those people will stay there because they are comfortable and they don't care. That, however, does not mean that we should throw away the bushel for a few bad apples.
This however, leads into my greater point about the fray, who for some reason are always labeled liberal, but who come in equal parts on both sides and are just ridiculous, universally. Perhaps we could just call them all "emotional" and steer clear of the erroneous label.
These are the protesters that you see out near the bull in the financial district - calling for the imprisonment of any and all governmental officials; the ones you see in front of planned parenthood with pictures of aborted fetuses, snarling and shouting bible scripture as you walk in to pick up your free birth control, or to get a woman's annual exam (a fantastic benefit of the social programs for those without medical insurance).
Those folks abound in New York and when I walk past them in the middle of the day, on my way back into the office, where I have a job and work for 10 hours a day, I wonder to myself what the hell these people do for a living. Is there some sort of protester-for-hire day labor site, where you can drive by and hire a lunatic to rant about your cause? I can see the signs now....
"Are you pissed as hell, but lack the balls to tell others? Do you have an axe to grind AND a job? Well worry no more, friends. Protesters for hire will do your bitching for you; in tye-dye no less! Only $29.95 and a bag of reefer for a half day (protest materials included)."
I do wonder however, if these idea-mercenaries would be able to really embrace the idea; after all, it does smack of capitalism and salesmanship. Since I don't have the time or chutzpah to put this idea into practice, I rely on you, loyal readership. If you will just spread the word to the incensed, downtrodden and wronged, we can get this off the ground and have some go-to people when the inevitable crisis arises.
18 October, 2008
so good.
I must admit that I ripped this off, but I wish I could keep it with me at all times for prompt use about 481 times a day.
17 October, 2008
uh....
Strange things are happening.
The Red Sox won last night. While I am happy about this (even though I couldn't give a squirt of piss about baseball), I am surprised and amazed at the quality of comeback excitement this team can generate. Kinda makes me wonder why they don't just play hard in the first place.
I had a dream from which I have just awakened where I was in the neighborhood I grew up in, but the house I was at belonged to a good friend I know from college. I was there for Christmas and was asked to go and re-park the horse. Yes, the horse. I had to take the horse out of the driveway, turn it around, then pull it up onto the lawn and tie it to the branch of a tree, which was the same tree that was in my front yard for all of my youth. The horse then laid down and gave me sad eyes.
My neighbor, a couple blocks over, has a Serengeti-esque display of plastic animals attacking each other in the planter box in front of his house. It is complete with flailing zebras being harpooned by the incisors of tigers and has fake, painted on blood to boot. One of these days, I will take a photo when I walk by, so you can see the grandeur for yourselves.
One can purchase McCain and Obama temporary tattoos. As if we needed another campaign tool. Not only can you vote with coffee cups, but you can actually paste the name of your chosen candidate on your body. This is horrifying to me. No stranger should be important enough to affix to your skin. When i see someone with this, I will flog them.
The lady at the laundromat seems to think that I'm out to get her. She stares at me with this horrified expression when I come in. I think it's just because she has never seen a giant woman before, who is at the same time, so strikingly beautiful and personable. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, small, round, Russian woman. I don't hurt. I only use my powers for good.
It's all very surreal, especially at 3:36 in the morning. Lucky I'm too lazy to even remove my computer from my bed when I find the tired setting in.
The Red Sox won last night. While I am happy about this (even though I couldn't give a squirt of piss about baseball), I am surprised and amazed at the quality of comeback excitement this team can generate. Kinda makes me wonder why they don't just play hard in the first place.
I had a dream from which I have just awakened where I was in the neighborhood I grew up in, but the house I was at belonged to a good friend I know from college. I was there for Christmas and was asked to go and re-park the horse. Yes, the horse. I had to take the horse out of the driveway, turn it around, then pull it up onto the lawn and tie it to the branch of a tree, which was the same tree that was in my front yard for all of my youth. The horse then laid down and gave me sad eyes.
My neighbor, a couple blocks over, has a Serengeti-esque display of plastic animals attacking each other in the planter box in front of his house. It is complete with flailing zebras being harpooned by the incisors of tigers and has fake, painted on blood to boot. One of these days, I will take a photo when I walk by, so you can see the grandeur for yourselves.
One can purchase McCain and Obama temporary tattoos. As if we needed another campaign tool. Not only can you vote with coffee cups, but you can actually paste the name of your chosen candidate on your body. This is horrifying to me. No stranger should be important enough to affix to your skin. When i see someone with this, I will flog them.
The lady at the laundromat seems to think that I'm out to get her. She stares at me with this horrified expression when I come in. I think it's just because she has never seen a giant woman before, who is at the same time, so strikingly beautiful and personable. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, small, round, Russian woman. I don't hurt. I only use my powers for good.
It's all very surreal, especially at 3:36 in the morning. Lucky I'm too lazy to even remove my computer from my bed when I find the tired setting in.
14 October, 2008
soggy matter
My brain was big enough already. You know, you can study and study and study all you want, but I'm telling you, the booze is some sweet sauce and ain't nobody gonna quit drankin just because some scientists say it's no good for da brain.
And that's all I have to say about that. Time for bed so I can continue my healthy lifestyle, which allows me to occasionally binge drink and allows me to enjoy the delicious Bordeaux I love with fancy dinner. Yum, yum, yum.
Shrink away, I say. This is some profound stuff we are spending our research dollars on, especially considering that the professor who has obtained said research grant may very well be a brandy-soaked academic.
And that's all I have to say about that. Time for bed so I can continue my healthy lifestyle, which allows me to occasionally binge drink and allows me to enjoy the delicious Bordeaux I love with fancy dinner. Yum, yum, yum.
Shrink away, I say. This is some profound stuff we are spending our research dollars on, especially considering that the professor who has obtained said research grant may very well be a brandy-soaked academic.
09 October, 2008
a dilemma
I was in a relationship many years ago, and the man I was involved with didn't treat me well. Big shock. I don't know a soul alive who hasn't been there. He was an okay person, but a terrible boyfriend; inconsiderate, sneaky, and ultimately obnoxious. I felt so betrayed because in the beginning, he was sweet, sincere and so much fun. It's the story of any road to the end of a short and interesting, but ultimately damaging affair. I note this only as evidence that I am qualified to at least comment on the situation below.
I bounced back from my bad relationship. It didn't sink me and since then, I have trusted other people, loved other people and been just fine. So too, will my friend, eventually. My friend is currently in a relationship with a good person, who just shouldn't be with anyone. Here's the list of good and then I'll present the list of bad and you can all weigh in with me, because as of yet, I have refrained from advising. I find it to be somewhat of a conflict and now that I have a better idea of the story, I understand why she is so confused.
He is amazingly intelligent. Have a conversation with this man and you will get a series of well thought out answers on just about any subject. I have a great deal of respect for the informed opinion, even if I don't agree with it and this is what he provides.
They have a great mental connection. It is plainly obvious when around them, that they truly connect and love each other intellectually. They have long, in depth conversations on any variety of topics and seek the counsel of one another regularly, due to a true and deep respect and admiration for each other. She tells me that even in times of stress between them, the thought of not speaking to each other everyday is unacceptable to either of them. Their respect is deep and soulful.
They laugh. A lot. They both have wacky senses of humor and they get each other. I'm sure that in their quiet moments together, they are silly and fun and laugh constantly at themselves, each other and the world around them. They take enjoyment in the little things of whatever they are doing and her favorite times with him, she has said, are the times just spent walking and exploring the world together.
They have tons in common. As a match up of extending goals and life plans, they are an extremely fit pair. I can easily imagine myself toasting them at their wedding and attending their kids graduations, because they both have a sense of family and the desire to create a great life.
Sounds perfect doesn't it? Well, here is the bad. I hate, as anyone does, to even mention it, but this is where she gets confused and where I lack the ability to just casually dole out any advice. This one takes some serious thinking.
He's secretive. He started out being very open with his time and his life, yet over time, he has become more closed and secretive from. Examples range from going days or even a week without seeing each other (after about 18 months or so), to him blocking her on various communication mediums for seemingly no reason whatsoever. He created a facebook account and then didn't add her as a friend, after they had been dating for a year. Odd. At one time he would regularly communicate with her during work hours via instant messenger and then suddenly began to use other "secret" screen names or just block her altogether.
He keeps his computer and phone under lock and key, Beyond the normal realm of privacy, as if she were to find something sordid and inappropriate. I was there when she questioned this about him and he became angry when she wondered why he does this. She is not much of a detective and it was not always this way with him. In increasing doses, it becomes particularly bothersome and odd, because "the man who has nothing to hide, hides nothing", non?
He's distant. He will go for days without having an actual conversation with her, telling her one day that he can't wait to get married and the next that he is simply way too busy to see her more than once a week, or talk to her about any other subject than what he chooses in the moment. He interrupts nearly every phone call they have, to take whatever call is coming next, or to walk in the house, an activity not normally so perilous that one needs extra focus. In observing them at her home, he becomes reclusive almost and seems to itch to get out and away from other people; choosing instead to retreat to his car so he can, presumably, go sit in front of his computer (and become more secretive).
He's physically distant. They don't have sex. This boggles my mind. My friend is a sexy, smart, athletic catch of a woman, who I have known by her own tales of amorous activity, to be adventurous and fun; the kind of girl that men look for. He does not strike me as any kind of cheater, though you will note by several of the items in the "not good" column, that his behavior leaves definite room for question.
Everyone knows that by the time that your friend tells you that she is not getting laid by her boyfriend, that things have been bad for a long time. No impulses is his excuse, which to me, is utterly dumpworthy material, and but for the above mentioned and very strong "good" column of items, I would tell her to drop his ass right away. If there is any chance for him, this one has to get fixed right away though, in my humble opinion. I couldn't live without hot sex; not when I was young enough and limber enough to enjoy it all (several times a day). Whatever the hang up is there, seek assistance immediately, because that problem just costs everyone.
His eyes wander. This one gets to me personally and I want to slap him every time I see it. They will be walking and he will be holding her hand (which I think is definitely up there in the good section and is cute as well), and with every moderately to very attractive woman who passes, his head is on the swivel, or at least his eyes are. I have followed his glance when she is not looking; watching him give every woman the up and down stare and even turning to take a second look, all while never letting go of her hand. It's disgusting how little self control that shows and given the secrecy and the aforementioned lack of fornication, definitely opens the mind up to doubt.
He is unbending. Some would call this selfishness, though he is not reputed to be selfish in every situation. I did think him to be an only child for a while though and found it strange that he actually has several siblings. Given his obstinance and seeming lack of interest in anything going on outside himself, I now understand why they are not out with friends more often - he probably doesn't want to do what he didn't think up or is not completely enthralled by. This even extends into music in her own apartment. While cooking dinner one night, he threw a tantrum about the fact that there was music playing, saying it reminded him too much of work. To me, a house without music may as well be a cemetery.
I need not go on. The good being as wonderful as it is, used to temper the bad for her, but at this point in time, she has come to me confused and sad, unable to decide what the next step is for the two of them.
Truth is, I don't know and can't tell her. I believe that things in relationships generally work out the way they are supposed to, discounting sabotage, which is not at all present in this case. She loves him genuinely and deeply and I have always thought he felt the same way, but at this juncture, sadly, the only advice I can give is, take care of yourself, my dear.
Take the lessons from this and know that if it is meant to be, he will bring up his end of things and make the changes that need to be made. We all know that the fundamentals of people rarely change, so let that be your guide and go and get the life you deserve. Love will not find you until you find it in yourself.
I don't care how zen and cheesy that comes across, it's the truth and it's what we all to often ignore. Now that I think of it, I have some processing to do.
I bounced back from my bad relationship. It didn't sink me and since then, I have trusted other people, loved other people and been just fine. So too, will my friend, eventually. My friend is currently in a relationship with a good person, who just shouldn't be with anyone. Here's the list of good and then I'll present the list of bad and you can all weigh in with me, because as of yet, I have refrained from advising. I find it to be somewhat of a conflict and now that I have a better idea of the story, I understand why she is so confused.
He is amazingly intelligent. Have a conversation with this man and you will get a series of well thought out answers on just about any subject. I have a great deal of respect for the informed opinion, even if I don't agree with it and this is what he provides.
They have a great mental connection. It is plainly obvious when around them, that they truly connect and love each other intellectually. They have long, in depth conversations on any variety of topics and seek the counsel of one another regularly, due to a true and deep respect and admiration for each other. She tells me that even in times of stress between them, the thought of not speaking to each other everyday is unacceptable to either of them. Their respect is deep and soulful.
They laugh. A lot. They both have wacky senses of humor and they get each other. I'm sure that in their quiet moments together, they are silly and fun and laugh constantly at themselves, each other and the world around them. They take enjoyment in the little things of whatever they are doing and her favorite times with him, she has said, are the times just spent walking and exploring the world together.
They have tons in common. As a match up of extending goals and life plans, they are an extremely fit pair. I can easily imagine myself toasting them at their wedding and attending their kids graduations, because they both have a sense of family and the desire to create a great life.
Sounds perfect doesn't it? Well, here is the bad. I hate, as anyone does, to even mention it, but this is where she gets confused and where I lack the ability to just casually dole out any advice. This one takes some serious thinking.
He's secretive. He started out being very open with his time and his life, yet over time, he has become more closed and secretive from. Examples range from going days or even a week without seeing each other (after about 18 months or so), to him blocking her on various communication mediums for seemingly no reason whatsoever. He created a facebook account and then didn't add her as a friend, after they had been dating for a year. Odd. At one time he would regularly communicate with her during work hours via instant messenger and then suddenly began to use other "secret" screen names or just block her altogether.
He keeps his computer and phone under lock and key, Beyond the normal realm of privacy, as if she were to find something sordid and inappropriate. I was there when she questioned this about him and he became angry when she wondered why he does this. She is not much of a detective and it was not always this way with him. In increasing doses, it becomes particularly bothersome and odd, because "the man who has nothing to hide, hides nothing", non?
He's distant. He will go for days without having an actual conversation with her, telling her one day that he can't wait to get married and the next that he is simply way too busy to see her more than once a week, or talk to her about any other subject than what he chooses in the moment. He interrupts nearly every phone call they have, to take whatever call is coming next, or to walk in the house, an activity not normally so perilous that one needs extra focus. In observing them at her home, he becomes reclusive almost and seems to itch to get out and away from other people; choosing instead to retreat to his car so he can, presumably, go sit in front of his computer (and become more secretive).
He's physically distant. They don't have sex. This boggles my mind. My friend is a sexy, smart, athletic catch of a woman, who I have known by her own tales of amorous activity, to be adventurous and fun; the kind of girl that men look for. He does not strike me as any kind of cheater, though you will note by several of the items in the "not good" column, that his behavior leaves definite room for question.
Everyone knows that by the time that your friend tells you that she is not getting laid by her boyfriend, that things have been bad for a long time. No impulses is his excuse, which to me, is utterly dumpworthy material, and but for the above mentioned and very strong "good" column of items, I would tell her to drop his ass right away. If there is any chance for him, this one has to get fixed right away though, in my humble opinion. I couldn't live without hot sex; not when I was young enough and limber enough to enjoy it all (several times a day). Whatever the hang up is there, seek assistance immediately, because that problem just costs everyone.
His eyes wander. This one gets to me personally and I want to slap him every time I see it. They will be walking and he will be holding her hand (which I think is definitely up there in the good section and is cute as well), and with every moderately to very attractive woman who passes, his head is on the swivel, or at least his eyes are. I have followed his glance when she is not looking; watching him give every woman the up and down stare and even turning to take a second look, all while never letting go of her hand. It's disgusting how little self control that shows and given the secrecy and the aforementioned lack of fornication, definitely opens the mind up to doubt.
He is unbending. Some would call this selfishness, though he is not reputed to be selfish in every situation. I did think him to be an only child for a while though and found it strange that he actually has several siblings. Given his obstinance and seeming lack of interest in anything going on outside himself, I now understand why they are not out with friends more often - he probably doesn't want to do what he didn't think up or is not completely enthralled by. This even extends into music in her own apartment. While cooking dinner one night, he threw a tantrum about the fact that there was music playing, saying it reminded him too much of work. To me, a house without music may as well be a cemetery.
I need not go on. The good being as wonderful as it is, used to temper the bad for her, but at this point in time, she has come to me confused and sad, unable to decide what the next step is for the two of them.
Truth is, I don't know and can't tell her. I believe that things in relationships generally work out the way they are supposed to, discounting sabotage, which is not at all present in this case. She loves him genuinely and deeply and I have always thought he felt the same way, but at this juncture, sadly, the only advice I can give is, take care of yourself, my dear.
Take the lessons from this and know that if it is meant to be, he will bring up his end of things and make the changes that need to be made. We all know that the fundamentals of people rarely change, so let that be your guide and go and get the life you deserve. Love will not find you until you find it in yourself.
I don't care how zen and cheesy that comes across, it's the truth and it's what we all to often ignore. Now that I think of it, I have some processing to do.
08 October, 2008
don't sit
I ride the subway every day, at least twice. I have the same route to work everyday, and generally the same route home. Occasionally, as is quite rare, I even see the same people on the train. I am one of millions who go through their routines day in and day out and just want to get from a to b in peace.
So then, what the hell is with people and being utter assholes on public transportation? It's just egregious and unacceptable how people seem to abandon all sense of manners and decency when riding the subway, bus, train, plane or any other form of transport. Ask any one person on any given day of any given week, month or year and he or she can provide at least a handful of unsavory experiences that happened either directly to them or in the immediate vicinity.
A story.
So there I was, sleepy and quiet, making my way onto a rush hour train the other day. I had my swim bag with me, which sticks out a bit in the back, but is not very wide. A rule of thumb, to which I strictly adhere is to never let my bag jut out or even touch another person, if I can help it. Therefore, when I went to sit in the center seat between two non-obese passengers, I had already taken my bag off and held it closely in front of me, so that nary a strap or piece of burlap was outside the lines of my person.
Normally, I would not even bother to sit if there weren't 2 open seats in a row, so I would be unencumbered by the being of another person, invading my space. But with the handicap of the boot and my plagued metatarsal, at this point in time, I prefer to sit. I sort of have no choice, if I ever want to shed this clumpy foot casing.
Having found the only open seat, I lowered myself into it carefully, using one hand to hold the bar over my head, so as not to come crashing down, due to the uh.....lack of delicacy, my fashionable plastic boot affords. And sit I did. Not touching either of my seatmates, and ready to enjoy my ride - as much as can be done when riding the silver worm. I had just settled in, when out of the corner of my eye, I noted the man to my right shaking his head and mumbling in scorn. I let it go.
Then the next stop came and he continued; looking in my direction, mumbling, shaking his head vigorously and then repeating. It started to get irritating, so I took him in. He was dressed in all white, albeit in different shades, with no one piece of clothing the same actual color of any other. He had pasty skin and had not shaved that morning, the black pepper of his scruff piercing his pallid face abrasively. He had a book, and I remember wishing he would just stick his nose in it and shut the fuck up, but I was not to be so lucky.
As he continued on his muted tirade, I became annoyed, because he distracted me from simply sitting there reading or doing nothing, which is my greatest wish every morning. After a long enough time and several more bouts of head shaking and audible dissatisfaction, I turned and asked him.
"Is there a problem?"
He continued to mumble inaudibly, though more angrily and shifted his eyes downward as he carried on.
"Look," I said "if you're going to bitch at me, at least face me."
"If you can't fit, you don't sit." He said. Clever. I'll think of that next time it's actually applicable.
"I am not touching any part of you, nor is my bag."
"If you can't fit, you don't sit!" He repeated more emphatically, causing me to take a second guess about his mental wherewithal. He continued to mumble.
"All right," I said. "This is ridiculous. I am not touching you and I just want to get to work, so zip it. " And yes, I did say zip it.
He looked at me threateningly so I continued.
"I have a broken foot and can't stand the entire way. If you felt there would not be enough room for us both, you could have been a gentleman and given up your seat, but I didn't see you do that, now did I."
That shut him up. Assholes.
So then, what the hell is with people and being utter assholes on public transportation? It's just egregious and unacceptable how people seem to abandon all sense of manners and decency when riding the subway, bus, train, plane or any other form of transport. Ask any one person on any given day of any given week, month or year and he or she can provide at least a handful of unsavory experiences that happened either directly to them or in the immediate vicinity.
A story.
So there I was, sleepy and quiet, making my way onto a rush hour train the other day. I had my swim bag with me, which sticks out a bit in the back, but is not very wide. A rule of thumb, to which I strictly adhere is to never let my bag jut out or even touch another person, if I can help it. Therefore, when I went to sit in the center seat between two non-obese passengers, I had already taken my bag off and held it closely in front of me, so that nary a strap or piece of burlap was outside the lines of my person.
Normally, I would not even bother to sit if there weren't 2 open seats in a row, so I would be unencumbered by the being of another person, invading my space. But with the handicap of the boot and my plagued metatarsal, at this point in time, I prefer to sit. I sort of have no choice, if I ever want to shed this clumpy foot casing.
Having found the only open seat, I lowered myself into it carefully, using one hand to hold the bar over my head, so as not to come crashing down, due to the uh.....lack of delicacy, my fashionable plastic boot affords. And sit I did. Not touching either of my seatmates, and ready to enjoy my ride - as much as can be done when riding the silver worm. I had just settled in, when out of the corner of my eye, I noted the man to my right shaking his head and mumbling in scorn. I let it go.
Then the next stop came and he continued; looking in my direction, mumbling, shaking his head vigorously and then repeating. It started to get irritating, so I took him in. He was dressed in all white, albeit in different shades, with no one piece of clothing the same actual color of any other. He had pasty skin and had not shaved that morning, the black pepper of his scruff piercing his pallid face abrasively. He had a book, and I remember wishing he would just stick his nose in it and shut the fuck up, but I was not to be so lucky.
As he continued on his muted tirade, I became annoyed, because he distracted me from simply sitting there reading or doing nothing, which is my greatest wish every morning. After a long enough time and several more bouts of head shaking and audible dissatisfaction, I turned and asked him.
"Is there a problem?"
He continued to mumble inaudibly, though more angrily and shifted his eyes downward as he carried on.
"Look," I said "if you're going to bitch at me, at least face me."
"If you can't fit, you don't sit." He said. Clever. I'll think of that next time it's actually applicable.
"I am not touching any part of you, nor is my bag."
"If you can't fit, you don't sit!" He repeated more emphatically, causing me to take a second guess about his mental wherewithal. He continued to mumble.
"All right," I said. "This is ridiculous. I am not touching you and I just want to get to work, so zip it. " And yes, I did say zip it.
He looked at me threateningly so I continued.
"I have a broken foot and can't stand the entire way. If you felt there would not be enough room for us both, you could have been a gentleman and given up your seat, but I didn't see you do that, now did I."
That shut him up. Assholes.
07 October, 2008
sad environs
Yes, it's all in vogue to talk about "green" these days. But did you know that one in four mammals is in danger of extinction? We have lost so much already, how much further does it need to go so everyone can own an Escalade and big business can have its smokestacks and oversized profits, too?
If you can't see the polar ice caps melting, then it's not happening, right? No big deal that there are no more snow days in rapidly growing portions of the northeast. What are a few one hundred degree days in southern California anyway? It's technically desert, right?
I have an idea, let's spend the next ten years drilling, so that we can waste a lot of time and money on futility. Ignoring the problem is so much more effective and letting it all waste away until it's all irreparably damaged is so much easier. And we all know that as long as it's kinda easy now, we can just shove it all away to another day and it might magically repair itself. Yeah, let's bank on that; totally gonna work.
If you can't see the polar ice caps melting, then it's not happening, right? No big deal that there are no more snow days in rapidly growing portions of the northeast. What are a few one hundred degree days in southern California anyway? It's technically desert, right?
I have an idea, let's spend the next ten years drilling, so that we can waste a lot of time and money on futility. Ignoring the problem is so much more effective and letting it all waste away until it's all irreparably damaged is so much easier. And we all know that as long as it's kinda easy now, we can just shove it all away to another day and it might magically repair itself. Yeah, let's bank on that; totally gonna work.
03 October, 2008
synopsis
Here is what I thought about the debates last night.
Joe Biden should have taken his teeth out of the glass and used them on Sarah Palin; lord knows she gave him enough opportunity.
Sarah Palin did not completely tank and embarrass herself like she did with Katie Couric, so I think she can declare a personal victory. I'm still not sure though, that she knows anything at all about her running mate, other than that at one time in his life, he was in a cell in a communist country and wants to put the government "back on the side of the people", whatever that means.
In my opinion, Biden distanced himself from her as someone not hiding behind rhetoric, who can admit fallibility and over-zeal, but who has a distinct direction in which he wants to go.
It was a tie until about 2/3 of the way through, and then Biden got tired of playing footsie and started actually nailing down some points and Palin ran out of steam and sound bytes and just started to sound like some talking head from Minnesota, doncha know.
32 days and counting.
Joe Biden should have taken his teeth out of the glass and used them on Sarah Palin; lord knows she gave him enough opportunity.
Sarah Palin did not completely tank and embarrass herself like she did with Katie Couric, so I think she can declare a personal victory. I'm still not sure though, that she knows anything at all about her running mate, other than that at one time in his life, he was in a cell in a communist country and wants to put the government "back on the side of the people", whatever that means.
In my opinion, Biden distanced himself from her as someone not hiding behind rhetoric, who can admit fallibility and over-zeal, but who has a distinct direction in which he wants to go.
It was a tie until about 2/3 of the way through, and then Biden got tired of playing footsie and started actually nailing down some points and Palin ran out of steam and sound bytes and just started to sound like some talking head from Minnesota, doncha know.
32 days and counting.
01 October, 2008
touchy
Ever feel like you always say the wrong thing when broaching a somewhat sensitive situation?
Feel guilty for wanting what you want, when it is seemingly good for everyone, but somehow comes out sounding like criticism?
I have trouble imagining the rest of my life with some things remaining as they are, but an equally hard time imaging it without a particular XY chromosome combination.
Why am I brooding right now and not tangled up in legs and arms? Seems I have gone wrong somewhere.....and all I'd really like is to right the ship and fornicate the calories right out of my system.
Is that too much to ask?
Feel guilty for wanting what you want, when it is seemingly good for everyone, but somehow comes out sounding like criticism?
I have trouble imagining the rest of my life with some things remaining as they are, but an equally hard time imaging it without a particular XY chromosome combination.
Why am I brooding right now and not tangled up in legs and arms? Seems I have gone wrong somewhere.....and all I'd really like is to right the ship and fornicate the calories right out of my system.
Is that too much to ask?
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