if you would.....

~Stop in front of me at the bottom of the escalator

~Slow down dramatically in a rushing stream of foot traffic to text your girlfriends
about makeup brushes.

~Make phone calls in a movie theater while the trailers are playing, because it's
not yet the actual movie, so who cares.

~Yell at your buddy across the seats of the subway, instead of sitting next to
each other.

~Stand in the middle of the locker room in your thong turning around and around
in the mirror, blocking the passage of people trying to get to the showers.

~Flick your cigarette away from where you're standing with gusto, so it makes it
out to the middle of the sidwalk and onto my open-toed shoe clad foot.

~Walk 4 wide down the sidewalk and then spread out like a wall at the corner.

~Cackle and vociferate on the commuter rail, preferably for at least 54 minutes
and then say "O shit, we should be quiet."

~Take out your cash one penny at a time at the store counter during lunch hour.


If you could please just accommodate us all and do these things as much as possible and on the regular, the rest of the world would love you more.

Seriously.