Ah the fitness craze(s). For only eighty of your hard-earned dollars, I can play some retarded music and jump up and down on a cheesy set with brightly colored clothes, too! And, if I say I'm from another country, it will legitimize my jumping and frolicking as a "routine," due to which you will shed tens of unwanted, unsightly pounds.
I will shout and use exclamatory sentences and look surprised and elated the whole time, and you will be sucked in by the fervor and not want to miss a beat! This is "all the rage" in my foreign country, where people are known for not being fat (because of their farm-fed lifestyle and impoverished economy).
E gads. You wanna know the reason people lose weight and "swear by" these things? I'll tell you the secret:
They were completely sedentary and did absolutely nothing healthy for themselves before it. So, I guess by comparison, it's a miracle. But they could all save $80 or $100 or even several hundred dollars, just by putting on some cheesy music, brightly colored clothes and jumping around like an idiot. This will save them from having shelf space taken up by yet another fitness dvd that they only did three times, because by time number three, they realized that the idiot in the neon, plum-smuggling spandex had taken them for a ride and a chunk of cash. Add to that, the music sucks and isn't what anyone would ever willingly listen to anyway.
People, people, people. Did you know that 30 minutes of brisk walking, with your heart rate at about 120 -130 will speed your metabolism, burn quite a few calories and, if done in the morning, will give you more energy for the rest of your day? And that's free. No awful dvd's, no gym fees, no matchy-matchy useless girls staring at your clashing workout gear while they glisten on the eliptical and no men strutting around in nipple-baring tank tops, reeking of cologne and making your eyes water.
There, I just saved you a hundred bucks.
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