assshoooooliooo

There are people in this world that I would just love to punch; lots of them, in fact. The people I reference right now however are the outright fuckers. The ones who call on the phone for say, your boss, and then treat you as if you never learned how to say your a-b-c’s. The people who treat you like some uneducated, incompetent secretary, because the person to whom they intended to speak is off doing more interesting things like meeting with investors or going over strategies and is too busy to talk to their whiny ass.

See, the word secretary is like a dirty, insulting word to me. When I decided that I wanted to make a career tack and change things up for myself, I knew there would be an element of humility involved on my part, because in order to get in the door of an industry that is a total departure from my degree or professional background, I had to take a step back, position-wise, and answer someone else’s phone, in addition to my many other, far more interesting and challenging duties. But let’s make no mistake; I am by no means a secretary. In fact, I have received accolades for the work I have done so far in my current position and I have become involved in several parts of my new field that I find both fascinating and rewarding. I will not be answering someone else’s phone for the rest of my days. Suffice it to say, when I’m treated as if I will be, I bristle. A lot.

So what that is leading up to, is this. A man calls up on the Partner’s line and it rings thrice. When said partner could not pick up, I chose to answer the call, as I’ve done several times a day for the last 4 months. I politely informed the caller, that the Partner in question was in a meeting and that I would be happy to take a message. We take messages rather than pass everyone through to voicemail around here, because no one checks his voicemail and we don't want people feeling neglected. Upon offering however, this man asked in the most incredulous and irritated tone possible,

“Well then he has a voicemail?”

“Yes,” I replied and as my fingers floated over the extension to transfer, he bit out,

“WELL then (honey) do you think I can just leave him a message on his voicemail?”

The last sentence was dripping with condescension and disdain, neither of which I could return, due to my damn commitment to professionalism.

“You surely can,” Was my reply.

I transferred this man into the voicemail, which still probably hasn’t been listened to a week later. He probably has chalked the unanswered message up to my incompetence and has gone on with the rest of his miserable life, treating people like shit.

See, I take great pains not to judge people. I try to keep an open mind, to think about what is motivating a person in unfortunate circumstances; a misunderstanding, a bad day, stubbed toe, or something along those lines. I am also aware however, that there are just some people in the world who are assholes. Maybe it’s due to poor upbringing, maybe due to a purposeful quest on the part of the asshole to make everyone else’s life as encumbered and difficult as his seems to be. This man falls into the category of just plain asshole - no mitigating factors, positive or negative, will change this for him.

He is the person at whom you want to yell and kick in the shins. He is the man into whose coffee I would love to pour ammonia. Okay, maybe not ammonia, but orange juice or something that would just piss him off and wreck his day, since he's going to be a dick to everyone anyway. Were I in the service industry on any level, I would maybe even risk my job to bitch back at him for how unbelievably obnoxious he is. But then I would probably remember that real assholes can keep it up forever. The person having a bad day has asshole moments. After these moments pass and when called out, the bad-day-asshole will apologize, hang his head and take a lesson.

The real asshole is that way for life and there is no changing him. So then there comes the quandary; do I let it roll off my back, because letting such a puny-souled person upset me is a waste of time, or do I let him know of my displeasure with his shitty attitude, knowing full well that he will never change and will then probably go and muddy my name to everyone within earshot for such egregious comments?

My philosophy on this comes pretty much directly from my father.
“Water off a duck’s back, bud. An asshole is an asshole and will always be an asshole. Better not to get any on you, by getting involved.”

Good one el Jeffe.