shade

So I have no computer right now. This means that my brain overflows with shit I want to write every night, and I either have to peck it out on my blackberry, or keep it all in and hope that it doesn’t all dry up and go away.

So now I’m sitting here with the time to write and my brain is empty. Whatta bitch. I guess I could comment on shadiness. Not the kind found under a large Maple, but the kind that tries to convince you that it’s just a matter of privacy. It’s an interesting discussion for sure.

I’m a semi-private person. I’m not really prone to opening myself up to strangers and all, but I like to open my home and my time to people I care about and want them to feel welcomed and at ease in my space. I do not however, want or expect people to sift through my belongings and poke their noses into spaces not meant for them. I believe most people have a good sense of decency and property and so I don’t worry about it much. Besides, whatever is found that may be unsatisfactory is on them that way. Some things are hit upon innocently and I think that is just the cost of doing business. Besides, if it's awkward for a moment, it can usually be explained away anyway. By and large though, I think my privacy measures are enough and I generally don't give my privacy or need for space, too much thought. I have enough.

What I find interesting and a little perplexing, are the lengths to which some people will go in the name of “privacy”. I have conducted a fairly thorough bit of research on this across both genders and a few different age groups as well, and I was startled at the number of people who were both very open about their privacy needs and who had very clear cut feelings on the "shadiness" front. The gist of the coversations, pretty unanimously went like this: if you are racing to keep things locked up and “private,” you probably have something to hide.

A sense of privacy, even from the most reclusive of my interviewees (and it is a well-developed sense of privacy) goes only to a certain point. Hiding is what comes next and if you are hiding something and guarding it all fiercely, then you have something for which you are ashamed. And if you are ashamed, he continued, you are aware that you are either breaking a trust or walking on a thin line. To boot, he added, those who are the most defensive and aggressive, are usually culpable, though they will deny it vehemntly. He said he knew this from being on both sides of the subject and his sentiment was backed up by several others. Interesting.....

But what about a deeply ingrained sense of protecting oneself? Not so, say my sources. The staunchest of the participants took pains to make it clear that where privacy and secrecy are concerned, they are two completely different things. Privacy yes, secrecy no. As one person put it, when it becomes a secret, it becomes somehow illicit in the mind of the hider and awkward and exclusive in a negative way, to those from whom the secret is so fiercely guarded. Anyone who refuses to even acknowledge how it looks, is just being ridiculous.

My conclusion now is pretty much what it was before, only slightly more informed, thanks to the people. So, according to me, if you appear to be shady, you probably are. This means that if someone in your life is acting shady, well....one can infer what comes next. What rocket science I’m coming out with, these days.