p.a.

I come from a world that is fairly straightforward. If you like something, you say so (ie: "I really like this!"). If you don't like something, you say so in the most diplomatic, yet direct way possible (ie: "I'm uncomfortable with this, what can we do about it?"). I'm used to things being on the table and people having the ability to communicate directly, regarding their thoughts and / or feelings about things.

In the last several years however, I have been presented with a slew of people for whom direct communication is just not an option. I have unwillingly and unwittingly been witness to the passive aggressive world - a world where no one speaks directly, or can, or will actually identify the root cause of a problem and take steps to resolve it, no matter how big, or small. It should be mentioned that a disproportionate chunk of these non-direct people communicate almost exclusively through text and chat, leaving a 100% chance for miscommunication open, because they only communicate in over-emotinal soundbytes. This intensifies the irritation factor greatly, due to the lack of concise and often far quicker ways to relay a message and move on.

In short, this uncommunicative, passive aggressive world is fucking annoying.

The PA world is populated by a bunch of friggin sandbags whose mission is solely to find some sort of conflict (though they will swear up and down that such is not the case), and to say stupid things like:

"well, I put it on facebook, so I shouldn't have to remember to invite / tell you. You should check my page",

or "you didn't express enough interest when I told you what I was doing, so I didn't invite you [and now am going to pout because you're not begging to come along] ",

or my personal favorite: the constant use of the word 'maybe' in response to direct yes or no questions (followed of course by silence, rather than information).

I don't understand that shit. The whole spider web of intimation, hints, pouting, phone-turning off, and fishing for responses to questions that were never asked, is just terribly inefficient. Those who espouse the whole PA lifestyle seem to me to be addicted to creating and sustaining some sort of drama, in an attempt to conduct some sort of weird social experiment, to see exactly how much frustration and mixed message a person will stick around for. I see it in the office, among friends and especially in dating. People, this - at the very least - doubles the amount of time one will have to spend navigating a situation to find a positive or amicable resolution.

New rules I've set up for myself include:
a) clear explanation (by me) of my perceived role in a situation, whether it be work, romantic, or otherwise, to avoid confusion on my part
b) not dating or associating with anyone whose name includes anywhere in it, the word drama, or who describes themselves as lonely, angry, or sad
c) exiting the conversation after the maybe trap is set to give the other person some time to think about the yes or no
d) discontinuing discussions after three (3) nonsensical fights, or misunderstandings are mustered out of thin air
e) running far, far away, the moment someone is fishing, yet will not cop to what it is he or she is fishing for.

The passive aggressive world is on notice. If you are a part of that world, I ask you kindly to stay the hell away from this girl, because I ain't got time for your antics anywhere in my world. I invite non-overly-emotive, highly intelligent people to join me in my quest for a drama-free existence. Together, we can polarize the passive-aggressives and they can whine and emote and manipulate each other into oblivion. Good plan.