renothingships

I laughed SO hard when I read this. Partly because it's just empirically funny, and partly because I have recently experienced such a thing after a one-dater refused - or refuses, to get my extremely direct message (I didn't completely ignore him, I told him I wasn't interested about fifty times - literally - and THEN I ignored him.)

I did consider publishing some of our correspondence, such as:

Me: "I've completely lost interest and have moved on, please leave me alone."

Him: "Wanna go to Miami and you can think about it?"

I truly don't understand it all; the boys sending such blatant and obvious signs of disinterest, followed by near stalking when I say 'Okay, bye.' It's really too confusing and too annoying for me to invest in, and I've arrived at a conclusion for how I will be proceeding henceforth, that I'm quite happy with.

See, when I was training, I did not have the emotional capacity to commit to another person and get all boyfriend. The couple of exceptions to that were guys that had exactly my same schedule, and were in the same places I was, most of the time. That was just easy pickins and it made it easy to keep the numbers down and be highly selective.  However, these were people I truly enjoyed spending time with, but who were in a similar position to me, or who didn't want to be fully invested, and so it worked out quite well for many years. When I retired, I made the fatal error of deciding to become a 'relationship girl'. I gave it two solid tries. One was just not meant to be and the other was an epic, epic, seismic fail. I believe I have now evened out and found what I feel is the best course of action going forward.

No more relationships, or at least no active searching for them. People do the most fucked up things in relationships. Things they would never do to their friends or family - only to those suckers who are dumb enough to get into bed with them  too quickly and think it means something. I prefer to take my time....suss things out and let my brain to the thinking.  Should something come out of left field and knock my feet out from under me, well I will happily evaluate that when the time comes.  In the meantime however, I can no longer invest in situations rife with high drama and low benefit.  The bonus......no one gets hurt or irritated, me especially.

I've been told I'm 'guarded', and maybe I am, but I'm not holding anything back. I'm still my same self with the jokes and the fun times and the affection. Just no emotional investment without good reason and unadulterated reciprocation on both sides.  Once it becomes un-fun or gets unnecessarily complicated by elaborate stories and things that just don't add up, I'm outta there. 

We learn, we grow, we continue to push out the bs.