overheard....

I have been taking a mental tally of all of the funny and stupid shit that I hear while cruising around the streets of the world. Here are a few of the winners:

*heard while sitting on a train, shoved against the window, listening to the people next to me cover topics like anxiety due to cockroaches and bi-coastal marriages....


"....I mean, you guys could be having zestful conversations about Hawaiian coffee."


and then a few moments later:


"One of the joys in my life is riding my big, Chinese bicycle and coasting with my hands stretched out in the air. I think it's because of the Chinese bicycle; I just don't think I could acheive that kind of freedom on another kind of bike. "



*heard while walking down 44th street in mid-town on the way to Grand Central....


"I don't know.....maybe we should just walk. I heard there are a lot of dead people that hang out in the subways."


**I had to wonder, do dead people actually hang out? And if they were to hang out, why would they choose a subway station? I would think if I were dead and looking for locations to frequent, I would choose a lovely park, or a spot that overlooks the Hudson river.



*I can't detail where I heard this, but I promise this is verbatim.


"O my god, I like totally have never tried Red Bull, but I did try Rockstar one time. That stuff is like totally crazy and I was like fully levitating when I was on it. I totally don't know why people need to be on Red Bull when they go out because it like keeps you up for like hours.


**I wonder if that's how David Blaine does it.