The below conversation (presented for your amusement and to prove a point) was had between me and a dude I apparently knew, but don't really remember, from high school. These are full and separate emails, mind you and I have not changed anything (ie: punctuation, numbers, letters, etc).
dude: long time so what u been up 2?
me: I've just been working and drinking! How about you? How have you been?
dude: same here! not enough hrs~ 2 do both! lol
me: Ha....well that's where you've got a problem, then! NY runs on booze, not dunkin donuts, as previously thought.
dude: can i tell u a secret?
me: sure....
dude: u r EEEEEEVIL!!!! lol but TRUE!
me: It's a secret that I'm evil? I totally thought the jig was up on that a long time ago, haha. How do you like Louisiana?
dude: it slow which i mean peaceful! no drive bys; no gangs ; miss the beach though. if u love outdoors come down south! every1 says hi! straners helping strangers!!! ca & ny 2 busy 4 that!
dude: u should come down 4 mari gras! listen 2 this they got daquri shacks here! i lived in 7 states louisiana is only state that has drive through daquri shacks!
me: Drive through frozen alcoholic beverages? Now if that's not intelligent, I don't know what is, haha. So I guess the cops hang out about a mile or two down the road?
dude: as long as the straw isnt in the lid, its concidered a closed container! there in between a strong icy~ 2 a drink w/ 8 shots of liquer! damn there gr8! lol
I'll stop there because it's hurting my eyes to re-read these. He didn't even spell liquor right. Sin of all sins!
I shared some of this with a coworker and to my comfort, she completely agreed with my snobbiness when it comes to proper diction and semi-intelligible writing. I'm going on record to say....if you don't reflect intellectual curiosity or intelligence in your speaking and writing and if you cannot write a complete sentence with the words spelled properly, I will feel really bad for you and will never go out with you. Now mind you, this dude isn't necessarily trying to go out with me - despite the repeated invitations to attend mardi gras and hit up the drive-thru daquiri shack - however, I'm literally in pain in this conversation.
I know, I'm a pompous ass who should take my pompous assholery and hit the bricks already. It is important to note however, that I'm not saying that this dude is a bad person. I'm not saying he deserves a cockroach infestation in his house or that he can't press a suit. I am saying none of those things. What I AM saying, is that people - and not just dude, because this is an epidemic - really ought to make a greater effort to learn to communicate properly in their native tongue. The days of it being cool to be stupid are o.ver.
The occasional typo, misused word, I can forgive. The blatant onslaught of shitty written and verbal skills is assaulting to my senses and is something I can't go back for seconds on. And I'm not alone. So dudes (and chicks), can we all agree to make a more concerted effort? Can we please, please, for fucks sake embrace the beauty that is good grammar? Can we marvel together at the grace and potency of the well-written word?
Or can we please just not communicate with one another? Please?
Yes, you can direct your hate mail to me. It's cool.
No comments :
Post a Comment