rah rah oohh la laaaaa

I'm big in the big house. Not big enough to draw the attention of un-incarcerated wonders such as scruffyboots or Kayla, mind you, but I have a modest following with the jail / prison crowd, of which I'm quite proud. If I can break up the monotony of anyone's day by providing something to laugh or think about, I am honored to do so. Of course in truth, I'm the "writer" that everyone thinks they are. A respected author in my own mind. I don't get paid to write, don't do it consistently enough, have a following of about 3 (on a really heavy day) and don't put down anything of real substance or consequence about ninety five percent of the time.

Okay so anyway, there I was on my way to work this morning, when I rounded the corner on 73rd Street and was taken aback by some delightful pungentness. I don't even know if that's a word, but it was definitely a smell. Having been greeted so pleasantly, it took me a second to identify the owner, who as it turns out was a small-yet-portly homeless woman with a cheerleading sweater, raggedy pants and running shoes with holes the size of half-dollars. At the moment when I rounded the corner, she was fishing through several plastic bags tied to a New York seized supermarket shopping cart, but as soon as she saw me, she popped right up and I almost expected her to throw her arms up in a V, do a pike and say 'o-KAY!'.

I've seen homeless people wearing and doing all manner of things, to the point that I rarely take notice any longer. I could regale you with stories for days about my sidewalk and subway adventures with the downtrodden of our fair metropolis. In this case however, it was the alertness and crispness with which she jumped to attention that really got me. She looked to be at least in her late forties, but that moment really made me wonder about the past of this person. I mean at one time, she could have been the head cheerleader at Fillmore High in Topeka, circa 1981. Could have even bagged half the football team and thrown in a couple of baseball players or wrestlers for good measure, in her heyday.

I flashed forward to a new community outreach program featuring homeless football. Kind of like lingerie football, only more interesting. In this arena, the guy who has suffered the elements day in and day out, picking cans and sitting outside Starbucks begging latte-laden passersby for change, can really take out the aggression that has no doubt been building inside on - well another homeless guy who has the same mountain of anger and resentment. But still - this would be a golden opportunity for the above-mentioned lady, because no football team - except the Steelers - is complete without cheerleaders. She would get to launder and wear that relic of better days, though hopefully with those snazzy cheer pants instead of the skimpy catholic school getup on the lower half.

You know, I'm going to talk to someone about this. It could be my parting gift to New York....imagine the ratings......