oooh, shiny

I am the master of mulled wine. This has nothing to do with my commentary for the evening, but I thought I'd announce my new found supremacy in that area.

The answer to the question on everyone's mind is: yes, we are that stupid. We, the public - and lets face it, we are all unwittingly a part of the public - are so easily duped by the ads and nonsense we read and see, that it works on us. We buy what they tell us to, simply because they say it's great. The machine of advertising masterminds, spits out carefully crafted claims that stop just shy of legal issues, in an effort to get us, the mindless public to make our choices by trial and error and spontaneous, illogical desire.

How many times do you change shampoos or styling products, simply because something new and improved is on the shelf, or has a better looking bottle? How many different deodorants, soaps, makeups, face washes and other random products do you go through in a year, because you "have to try that" and there really is no compelling reason - outside of simply not needing it - not to? I have taken an inward gander at this and I'm fairly disgusted, though I don't think it will make me change much.

The ads have us convinced: we can't live without these items. These items are doing us a favor, simply by existing and it's up to us to run on out and purchase them in order to validate our sorry asses. An example you ask? Well allrighty then. There's this stupid, fucking Citibank ad that has been playing for weeks and weeks.

See there's this rag-tag kid, with the cute smile and the disheveled hair and he's obviously been away at college, not honing his sharp dressing skills and he's got to find something for his mother for christmas. So there he is, wandering aimlessly around the department store, checking out chotchkies and agonizing over the gift. Then suddenly, as if by divine intervention, he gets himself a suit with his...(insert dramatic music here) Citibank credit card! He shows up at the family dinner and melts his mother with his present for her, which is really an outfit for him and the world goes on just as it should. Were it not for that credit card, he never would have been able to come up with that idea and make that o' so difficult decision. Whew! Thank god for credit cards that have a sense of gifting.

The saddest part to all that, is that I have a friend who is the person to whom all of those ads are targeted. Fortunately for her, she will openly admit it, but it doesn't stop her from purchasing the shiniest, prettiest box of whatever simply because it says "better" or "new and improved". My favorite is "30% less sugar!" Thirty percent less sugar than what? A bowl of actual sugar? Anything that says it's good on the package, is a guaranteed sale for her; like the shoddier products would have some sort of fine print saying "this actually sucks."

In fact, it's almost like "New and Improved" are actual people. They are the ghosts dancing in the aisles, tickling your ears and eyes, clandestinely pointing you to the bottle or box that is just a few dollars more, thus sucking the life out of your wallet, dollar, by slowly bleeding dollar.

But the big wheel keeps on turnin' and the shiny will never get old. Next week, "New and Improved" will talk me into yet another round of products I already have and my shower will continue to be full of more shampoo and conditioner than one person needs in a year. Look at it this way though, the economy is in a perilous state; it's our job to keep at least someones business booming. New and Improved said so.