fuhgivenass

It's an interesting place to be, when in a position to need or want the forgiveness of another person. Because most people, in my experience, have messed themselves up because of an err in the method of their message. Most people are not out to hurt another, but for a moment in time, they lack the skills to convey legitimate frustration and thus spout off, hurting the recipient of the message and losing the point in the process.

There are also, of course, those who hurt other people with lies and deceit, which is a little more empirical on the right / wrong scale. But given some time, honesty and contrition, those wounds are healable, if the person on the receiving end of those mistakes has forgiveness in them. Either way, a true committment to the relationship shared between the two parties becomes the glue for piecing things back together.

No matter what the circumstance, it's the one who is in position to grant or deny, who has the greatest burden, I think. Whether it be with friends, co-workers or significant others, the person with the so-called upper hand, actually has the more difficult position. To really let someone back into ones graces is to admit a part in the problem and requires putting in as much work as the offender, in order to make things right. Getting to that position takes some serious introspection and most importantly, a strong, honest look at what has driven the problem.

This is not to ignore the duty of the infractor. When having wronged, it's not enough to simply say "I'm sorry." Anyone can say that. Acknowledging what one has done to hurt another person is also a painful process and it requires walking into the apology with no guarantees. But a sincere apology, still means that the person afflicted may not forgive. It means that you may not have again, what you have given up by way of your mistake.

So I guess that's all that's left. An apology served up on a broken heart and seasoned with resignation and a tiny dash of hope. Who knows, maybe it'll work.....