Ah, the white lie. The most innocent and innocuous of lies...so seemingly unimportant, it gets to be associated with the color of purity and innocence. Such a paltry little thing, the white lie. The white lie gets one out of boring meetings, off the phone with relatives, and provides a trove of excuses for those who lack the gene enabling punctuality.
That's where it starts. One little white lie, leads to a few more white lies, designed to protect the original slight, whilst helping the utterer to maintain his or her reputation as an "honest" person, save face, and not have to back out of the fact that an untruth was told. But the delicate web is where the problems start to coagulate.
No one wants to be called a liar. But even a white liar, is still a liar. In my research, I have found that people who engage in the practice of white lies will vehemently deny being liars and will retort to such an egregious accusation with anger and potential violence. This is due to the fact that their integrity has seemingly been called into question. Hm. These, however, are the same people to whom the white lie is such an integrated habit, they often can't even recognize when the untruths begin to drip from their lips.
A wise person told me many, many times in my youth, "If something doesn't make sense, then it's probably not true. But, before you go accusing anyone, just take a step back, watch, and genuinely give the person a chance to tell the truth. Don't try and string people up in their lies, because it won't get you anywhere and the liar will never react well." Such sound advice.
The initial reaction by a truthful person to this kind of behavior generally begins with confusion. Something doesn't jive, doesn't sound quite right and the listener is forced to try and make logical sense out of what just doesn't piece together quite right. Headscratching begins and the brow pinches into a discombobulated furrow. After confusion, comes suspicion and then shortly thereafter, the street signs for "Lack of Trust Dr." start to appear in the distance, the faint yellow flashing of caution lights, becoming visible in the white fog of the story.
The only problem, is that the astute perceptive and observational powers I took a lifetime to cultivate and hone, often appear to the liar in question as some sort of superhuman ability. Suddenly, rather than just paying attention and remembering details, I become some sort of threat to my white liar friend and I'm met with open hostility. But you see, I have no tolerance for lying. Tact, yes; lying, no. In no way does the definition of tact include fabrication or misleading information. Apparently, it's a common misconception.
See, I'm not out to trap the liars of the world and hold the proverbial mirror up to their tarnished souls. I'm waaaayy to lazy and have no interest in judging anyone. I'm just out to know the truth on subjects about which I choose to inquire. If I ask a question, I expect an honest answer, even if it means taking in difficult or uncomfortable information. I can handle any truth, I cannot handle any lies. Taking away my ability to look at a situation for what it really is, is just rude and arrogant. Funnily enough, most times, I wouldn't even be upset by the true details. But the lying ....the lying opens up a can o worms, friends. Can o fucking worms.
Once you've lied to me (we've already gone over my struggles with trust), it opens up a new line of questioning in my head. Why lie about something so seemingly harmless? Why have you chosen this simple subject to lie about and what else have you lied about that I don't yet know? More importantly, why do you feel the need to lie to me? Have we not adequately established respect for one another? Of what are you so afraid, that you can't tell the truth?
So what are we left with then? What is the proper recourse for dealing with a half-truther? This phenomenon seems to be both so rampant and widely accepted that I'm left to wonder if I shouldn't just give up and start in with the white lie fad myself. But then I'd be catching me lying to me all the time and I'd be so annoyed with me knowing that I'm lying to me and yet continuing to do so anyway, that I'd probably beat me up. No good.
I'll edit this in the morning.
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