office umbrage

It's hard enough to wake up on the wrong side of the bed in the morning after an annoying exchange with a 'loved one'. Hard enough to haul one's hefty ass out of bed and trudge to the office in the pouring rain as the cuffs of your pants soak up every drop of water that comes anywhere near them. It must be done, however, so that's just how it is. The motto for the day becomes "Get in, bust ass and get out, so I can go to the gym". Actually, that's kind of the motto for everyday, but it takes on a whole new significance on days of grumpiness.

And then starts the singing. The little snippets of songs you absolutely do not want in your head during your workday for any reason. Bursting snippets of songs which make you want to stab yourself in the eye with a screwdriver - Phillips or standard - repeatedly until it stops.

"Ain't no sunshine when she's gone......" "you can stand under my umberrelllla......" "if i had a hammer......"

Actually, the last snippet is the reel that plays in my head after the song burst. It's usually followed by some sort of violent and destructive line that amuses me and soothes my urge to maim myself or those around me.

Now I can't blame every inappropriate thought I have on the songstress, because in truth, she's really an okay gal, but the singing is accompanied by a smattering of other quips, noises and comments from a 360 degree field around me, none of which needs audible time by anyone other than the utterer. But this is the office; the place where everyone comes to actually live their lives out since the commute takes too long to have anything other than a shower and sleep at "home". So we hear each other out and stuff down the frustration of being annoyed day in and day out by the seemingly innocuous blurts and comments lobbed out to pollute the office air.

Perhaps this is a good time to look at my violent tendencies and examine why such harmless bits rile me to the point of fuming. Nah, I'd rather just toss on a pair of headphones, turn on Bad Religion and stew.