juice & cabs

This is not a clever title.  I'm really going to write about juice and cabs, so brace yourselves.  You may not think these two things go together and, of course, you're right.  They don't. 

I feel the need to open a discussion on DC cabs however, because I can't believe that no one has raised serious objection to this system before.  I am not one of those people who comes down to DC and goes on and on about "well, in New York....", but here, I feel I must. 

In New York, the cabs are all on the medallion system.  The system is streamlined, the cabs look the same, have the same fares, and are more or less efficient.  If you tell a cabbie that you need to get somewhere as fast as humanly possible, dude will put both your lives on the line to make that happen, as it should be.  I personally think that Manhattan should be a cabs-only island, but that's a discussion for another time.  The point is, the cabbie drives aggressively, you have your choice of payment method and they pull as far out of the way of general traffic when picking you up and dropping you off, as possible, so as not to disrupt everyone else's progress. 

This is soooooooooo not the case in DC.  I don't know where they get these reject cabbies and their system, but it's a bunch of malarky.  My major gripes are three (followed by a series of more minor ones):

1.  When a cab comes to pick you up or drop you off, they pick the most inconvenient location for both you - the passenger - and the rest of the traffic on the road.  They obstruct as many other people as possible, causing a bottleneck and a bunch of dirty looks and honks, etc.  Why?  Why not just pull over to the curb and let people get on with their business, all while allowing the passenger to not have to hurdle or lunge to get into the cab? 

2.  The cabs in DC drive sooooooooooo s l o w.  I mean molasses in winter, slow.  Glacially slow.  Me trying to sprint while running, slow.  Am I painting a clear enough picture here?  So I say "I need to get to 14th and U, as fast as possible please" and dude goes 20 miles an hour on an unobstructed road.  Literally.  No other cars to clog things up and dude is cruising at a leisurely 20 miles an hour.  So I say "um, sir, I understand if you don't want to speed, but could you maybe at least go the speed limit, so I can get where I need to go?"  He sped up to 22.  I did not tip him. 

3.  You MUST have cash.  This just blows.  I realize that forever and ever in New York until only a few years ago, all cabs were on a cash only system.  But then came the invention of the handy little in-cab swiper and now I feel like that ought to be implemented everywhere.  There are 2309428 cab companies in DC and then some from MD and VA who occasionally try and grab some DC business, despite it being illegal.  Not a one has a damn credit card swiper.  This is just beyond unreasonable to me.  This is a booming metropolis with a global contingent of fares.  Get with the program, guys.  I'm not even going to get into the bs rates, which are then run up by the Flintstones driving speed.  Just make it easier for people.  The number of fares you pick up in a day will increase dramatically and you won't have to gouge the shit out of those who do hop in. 

My new, fun game is getting kicked out of cabs for yelling at the cab drivers for various things.  The side benefit to getting kicked out, by the way, is that you get several blocks worth of free progress on your trip, which cuts down on the aforementioned aggravations.  But hey....if you are holding your cell phone in one hand or have it pressed between your shoulder and your ear while you are trying to squire me about, I'm going to yell at you for it, because that is, or should be, illegal.  If you kick me out, your loss.  You shouldn't be driving 14 mph and chatting away, anyway.  I will put up with your stinky cab, the bizarre decorations, your wacky music and the lot.  But you cannot talk on the phone and / or drive like an octegenarian and get away with it. 

I guess New York did leave some things with me.  But seriously, being that this is a town of activists and people who like to squawk for change, I may just organize a contingent to noise things up and finally get some logical driving going on.  Until then, I will walk or take the bus, thank you. 

Oh and for the juice part, I'm on day 5-ish of adding the juice in during the day and then having a normal, healthy dinner and I feel like a million bucks.  That juicer was worth it and I am still down a net of 15 pounds as of a couple of days ago, before this even kicked in, so yay to that. 

And there it is.  Juice and cabs.