crier

I was in a conversation with a new(er) face the other day, and he asked me something along the lines of how I like chick movies or romantic comedies or something like that. The point of that part of the conversation was to feel-out-slash-indulge the emotive chickness level.  I always fail these tests, miserably. 

I think I said something about romantic comedies being girl-porn and how sports were far more likely to get me choked up.  I was met with a look of disgust, which honestly puzzled me.  This was followed by a comment about not being 'girly' enough and my love of athletics being 'off-putting'.  Obviously, this interaction demonstrated a lack of future potential, but being the social anthropologist I fancy myself to be, I decided to do a little mini clinical study on this particular individual to find out why a girl who likes sports is off-putting.  

Granted, I like sports more than even the average girl who likes sports.  However I have a lot of other girl friends who are like minded, so I sort of feel like the way I am is normal thing.  I mean, 'normal' is just whatever you're used to anyway, right?  Add to that, I have all brothers and am the oldest.  I also had practice of some sort every day from the age of 2 to 33.  Then I broke my foot and a whole other mess of things happened, but that's not the point.  The point is, none of these things make me any less feminine and I don't feel the need to defend my femininity by pointing out all the girly shit I do.  Wearing make up is not me compensating for playing sports.  

I have to wonder, though, what is so off-putting?  Is that another word for intimidating?  I'm not for everybody and I'm perfectly okay with that, but I do like to understand why a man who presents as relatively sporty himself, would be put off by his sporty, double-x chromosomed counterpart.  It's a mystery.  I suppose I should go take off these 4" heels and go for a run, now.  Later.

falsehoods

I don't lie.  I don't, and here's why.  

Lying takes effort in perpetuity - effort that is simply not worth the energy.  First, you are willingly deceiving someone when you lie, which is wrong.  Second, and possibly more importantly, when you lie, you then have to remember shit.

You have to remember the lie itself, who you told the lie to, why you are lying and then you have to consistently back up that lie in perpetuity, which often requires more lies and thus more remembering of shit.  It's a ball o wax that adds up to not worth it, to me.  I mean, if I'm going to be bothered to remember stuff, I'd rather it were factual or happy information; not all of the details that lead to why I can't be trusted.  Apparently, this is a rare attitude to have, but I can't quite figure out why. 

People can get over things when you give them the truth.  They may be mad and if you've done something wrong that they ought to be mad about, well that's your own damn fault and you probably should stop doing shit that makes people mad.  Pretty simple.  The point is though, that once the truth is processed, there is still at least the respect that you have told the truth and taken your lumps, which sort of plays to our basic humanity and desire for integrity-filled relationships.  

By contrast however, people don't get over lies.  They can say they do, to get out of a situation in the moment, but really they don't.  They don't get over lies because a lie is a betrayal.  When you take away someone's right to their feelings about something, it's not only wrong, it's arrogant and unfair.  

Tonight, I had my mind blown.  Not just blown, but exploded.  Fortunately, I have had quite a bit of time and distance from the situation that was detailed for me, but nonetheless, the amount, intensity, time-duration and senselessness of it all allowed me to laugh, rather than be hurt.  But the sheer enormity of it all was easily the last thing I ever thought I'd hear in my lifetime.  

There will be more - waaaayyyy more - on this for sure in the coming posts, but for now, don't lie, people.  Just don't.  It's a waste of time where you could be doing a helluva lot more with the truth.