I am going to work out at 8:30am, tomorrow. Other than the time, there should be nothing odd about this statement. What is the scary (odd) part, is that I am going to train with one of my former teammates, who basically never stopped training.
It feels mildly pathetic to be ready to swallow my pride and get my ass handed to me, but I need that right now, so it's all good. With everything else going on in my life at the moment, it makes perfect sense that I should be in competitive shape right now, so.....well, here goes a healthy dose of embarrassment and future motivation.
My demise is imminent, please say nice things about me.
29 May, 2013
09 May, 2013
those days
There are those days when you have a final and things are annoying you and your house is a mess because you don't yet have your sofa or your dresser......
And then someone dies and none of it matters.
I have lost two friends in recent years to suicide. They were about the same age when they did it, too. Two very smart, caring men with bright futures and lots of friends who cared about them. Two good souls who were so locked inside themselves that they saw their only way through as out. It breaks my heart to pieces to think that gone forever was a better option than another day, week, month, or year. Why?
There is a large part of me that is angered by this. I have another friend, whom I have known since childhood, who has tried - an fortunately failed - a few times now. He would leave behind a loving wife and an adorable, smart son. I get angry with him, but have to keep that inside, because the anger doesn't fix anything for the tortured soul. All one can do is try to be as supportive as possible, assuming the problem is visible on any level. If you don't know however.....
My heart is heavy. I hope you have found some peace, my dear friends. I hope that things truly are better as your soul rejoins the cosmos.
And then someone dies and none of it matters.
I have lost two friends in recent years to suicide. They were about the same age when they did it, too. Two very smart, caring men with bright futures and lots of friends who cared about them. Two good souls who were so locked inside themselves that they saw their only way through as out. It breaks my heart to pieces to think that gone forever was a better option than another day, week, month, or year. Why?
There is a large part of me that is angered by this. I have another friend, whom I have known since childhood, who has tried - an fortunately failed - a few times now. He would leave behind a loving wife and an adorable, smart son. I get angry with him, but have to keep that inside, because the anger doesn't fix anything for the tortured soul. All one can do is try to be as supportive as possible, assuming the problem is visible on any level. If you don't know however.....
My heart is heavy. I hope you have found some peace, my dear friends. I hope that things truly are better as your soul rejoins the cosmos.
06 May, 2013
....grads
Dear undergraduate students......
The library, as the huge sign on the wall says, is a quiet place where no phone calls are allowed. I realize you don't give a shit about your schooling because you have no idea what you will actually do with your degree and chances are you were out drinking late last night.
I don't give a shit if your library trip is for appearances only. The graduate students - especially the ones racking up debt on their own credit - give a shit about their finals. Take your loud chewing and your phone calls outside, for fucks sake.
thank you.
The library, as the huge sign on the wall says, is a quiet place where no phone calls are allowed. I realize you don't give a shit about your schooling because you have no idea what you will actually do with your degree and chances are you were out drinking late last night.
I don't give a shit if your library trip is for appearances only. The graduate students - especially the ones racking up debt on their own credit - give a shit about their finals. Take your loud chewing and your phone calls outside, for fucks sake.
thank you.
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