And then

Nothing like being awake for days on end....while listening to someone speak a random foreign language at high volume.

Im searching for motivation in a pool of shit. Its lining up for me to step forward and I'm so fucking shot that I cant even stick my foot out to take the step. How to proceed, how to proceed. It's a truly strange sensation to have no idea how things are going to go in any area of my life, at this age. I guess the anxiety, the lack of sleep, lack of exercise and disappearance of any discernable drive at work are a waste of time, but the quandary seems to be how to get out of a six foot hole with no ladder?

Bootstraps, baby, 'cause no one else is losing sleep over your trials. Its every man for himself in this bitch, so either sink or swim...your choice. No one's looking out for your ass, so figure it out comme toujours. Et vous pret? Partez.

today's lesson

Today's lesson, which really should have been learned about four years ago is, when someone tells you they are an asshole, take their word for it and head for the hills. Otherwise, you will find yourself having wasted an incredible amount of time trying to prove that statement false, and the asshole will carry on being assholey for the tenure of your interaction.

People will tell you who they are. All you have to do is listen.